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Reactive: Look at all these things and people and situations that aren’t the way I want them to be . . . Yet when you overthink excessively, it isn’t rational, and it isn’t part of a larger strategy. It can even cause activity in your brain that can be harmful to you. One Harvard study found that this excessive brain activity depletes an essential protein – and that may actually shorten the human lifespan . Such a good book for those of us struggling with rumination and anxiety. Will need to read it again. There are two main answers: either you see something or someone else as responsible for what happens to you, or you see yourself as the primary agent, mainly responsible for how your life plays out. Proactive people are those who, in essence, do not depend on the environment to guide and shape their life, but rather take active responsibility and do things on their own. They focus on their scope of action, on what they want, and on how they can bring those things about. Naturally, their attitude puts them in a frame of mind that focuses on solving problems and seeking opportunities. Broadly, when it comes to their life path, they are the ones calling the shots. Studies also show that overthinking leads to serious emotional distress. To escape that distress, many overthinkers resort to unhealthy coping strategies, such as alcohol or food.
You make catastrophic predictions about unlikely events that haven’t happened yet – and that leave you unable to enjoy the present . You ruminate about the past Negative and destructive thought patterns come in many forms – and some are worse than others. These thought patterns tend to surface during times of stress and conflict and contribute to the negative effects of overthinking . Two of the most common patterns are ruminating and incessant worrying. Whether they beat themselves up over a mistake they made yesterday or fret about how they’re going to succeed tomorrow, overthinkers are plagued by distressing thoughts—and their inability to get out of their own heads leaves them in a state of constant anguish. If you replay every interaction and social situation in your mind, it could be social anxiety that’s causing your overthinking . You let negativity build up in your mindSo, it’s not that being proactive means you are entitled and enabled to make the world exactly as you like it, rather that you have conscious awareness of your own scope of action, you have an internal locus of control, and you are willing to actively engage with obstacles and mistakes rather than passively assuming you have no control or responsibility. It’s not really the outcome or result that matters but the attitude. So, if we want to be genuinely calmer and more relaxed people, how can we start moving toward the proactive rather than reactive mindset? Drop Blaming and Complaining
This isn’t a long read but it doesn’t need to be. It contains a lots of useful advice to help manage anxiety and overthinking. Easy read, felt more like a guide, where from chapter to chapter you are just taken through a set of rules with short explanation and 1-2 examples tops. Book is definitely both on and to the point, ideas and techniques described are more or less valuable, but nothing that blew me away. I’m going to embarrass myself tomorrow when I give that presentation. My hands will shake, my face will turn red, and everyone will see that I’m incompetent. Chapter 2: The Overthinking Cure: How to Stay in the Present, Shake Negativity, and Stop Your Stress and AnxietyPeople who are cool, calm, and collected just have something about them—what is this X factor that lets them remain so composed and in control of themselves? While overly anxious people flap around and freak out, calm people seem to be inhabiting an entirely different mindset. Let’s begin this book by looking more closely at exactly what this mindset is, and how you can go about cultivating it in yourself. A distracted and non-present mind is the biggest cause of unhappiness. It prevents us from seeing what possibilities lie before us. Life turns into a minefield rather than a set of new opportunities. This puts you in active, problem-solving mode. Stop waiting for someone to come and save you; think of ways to help yourself. If you can act, then act. If you don’t like something, have the courage to change it or remove yourself from the situation. Think of it this way: not acting is also a choice, and if you remain in a situation you don’t like, what does that say? Now, I know what you’re thinking—surely it’s impossible to be truly proactive? After all, none of us is one hundred percent in control of our lives. This is true. Being proactive, however, doesn’t necessarily mean you always get your way; rather, it’s an orientation of mind and an attitude that says I can learn from mistakes. I can use my potential. I can try something new. In fact, a proactive person is also able to recognize when they don’t actually have an influence over outcomes, and they can comfortably relinquish control.
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